Blogs & Insights From Mama Gold
The Legacy of a Shameless Life
What Dolly Parton Taught Me About Shame, Dignity and the Courage to Be Seen
This past Friday night, I poured myself a steaming hot Epsom salts bath after an intense week and suffused myself in the haunting ballads of Dolly Parton in the week of her momentous passing.
You see, growing up, I had identified so strongly with the haunting sounds and lyrics of Jolene. It had become part of my life script in some ways.
Passages And Pages
When approval becomes an addiction, we remain enmeshed in a constant need to prove ourselves.
And it is never enough.
Never.
It becomes another self-fulfilling prophecy.
Significance lies somewhere deeper. It's raw and honest and deeply confronting.
Peace is the path I am choosing now. It requires a different form of courage.
Permission To Walk
Growing up I was quite a serious little girl, shy, reserved. Plump, spotty and dramatically unsporty in my very sporty family. But that made me deeply observant and deeply reflective. And so I watched life from the wings. I lived in my head with my own quiet thoughts. Not really knowing where I belonged.
“Success” vs Significance
For those who have been following my journey, I want to introduce myself properly. That means being honest. Raw. Unfiltered.
My name is Ali. Some know me as Alleycat. Some as Mama Gold, a name given to me during a Gold TV series that stayed with me. My close friends know me as Jessica, my middle name. Jessica is lighter, freer, more playful. Alison can be serious. Ali is warm, open, and less guarded.
For a long time, I didn’t believe my story mattered. I didn’t believe my voice mattered.
In 2025, I received harsh criticism from family about my visibility. It broke me more than I expected. I retreated for months into silence, into safety, into healing. I had to look myself in the mirror and ask myself whether being visible was worth the cost.
Where do you go to?
Some people, when challenged or triggered, automatically fight back. It's all they knew. It's all they could do to survive back then. It's only when you unpack the anger that you get to the root of the pain. Sometimes fighting back saved our lives.
