Blogs & Insights From Mama Gold
What If ?
Every now and then, in this journey of life, you meet a weekend where it meets you in the evolution of your story and the deepening of your messaging.
This past weekend was life altering, and I do not say that lightly. From the moment I entered the balmy, warm energy of Natal at the PSASA (Professional Speakers Association of South Africa) Annual Convention, I was gifted an immersion I never foresaw, quite in the way it landed.
Rewriting A Different Story
When I walked out of the school gates at the age of eighteen, I never thought I would ever step foot back again.
Some people experienced school as one of the happiest times of their lives. For me, it was anguished and tortured. It was not my proudest era. I was mostly miserable and a mess. Sometimes I acted like the class clown to hide the overwhelming sadness I masked.
“Success” vs Significance
For those who have been following my journey, I want to introduce myself properly. That means being honest. Raw. Unfiltered.
My name is Ali. Some know me as Alleycat. Some as Mama Gold, a name given to me during a Gold TV series that stayed with me. My close friends know me as Jessica, my middle name. Jessica is lighter, freer, more playful. Alison can be serious. Ali is warm, open, and less guarded.
For a long time, I didn’t believe my story mattered. I didn’t believe my voice mattered.
In 2025, I received harsh criticism from family about my visibility. It broke me more than I expected. I retreated for months into silence, into safety, into healing. I had to look myself in the mirror and ask myself whether being visible was worth the cost.
Butterfly Dreams
Five years ago, a shy young woman entered my life. I never realized how much our journey together could change the very nature of the work I do now and my why.
Five years ago, when I met Jean at a church in the inner city, I could see her remarkable talent as a graphic designer. And how much her creativity was not being given the wings it deserves, the wings it was meant for, the wings that were meant to fly.
Taming The Barking Dog
Sometimes, when things are rough, it's easy to default to our old patterns of survival and coping. But when we find a new way forward, even in the depths of our valleys, even in the depths of our despair, we are saying, "I am going to live patterns that protect me, not patterns that might hold short-term comfort but that hold the seed of long-term annihilation."
My Experiment With Visibility
After this Easter period of deep reflection, I have chosen to retreat into a period of thought leadership and writing, focusing on my mental health journey. Being active and in quiet reflection creates a gentle way forward. I am trying to create a road map of learning as I navigate this complex life in my 60s. The visibility this past year for me has been excruciating – being too exposed.
